


until your dying day

by weatherzane



Series: galaxy [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:11:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatherzane/pseuds/weatherzane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quasar, a red dwarf star, a super-Earth, a nebula, and an open cluster of stars walk into a bar…</p><p>…and are reincarnated into five band members, who sometimes get glimpses into their past lives.</p><p>- * - * - * - * -</p><p>Liam has a breakdown and Louis is there with Elmer's and support.</p>
            </blockquote>





	until your dying day

Songwriting is difficult. It's hard to walk that line between pretentious and predictable. And Liam has just about run out of inspiration.

"So what are we thinking for the bridge, lads?" Louis asks, then starts in gnawing on his pen cap. Liam absently swats at Louis' arm; he won't be blamed for Louis getting ink poisoning. "I was thinkin' somethin' a bit quicker-paced, pick things up."

Harry, from his seat on the other bloody side of the room, nods absently, takes a long drag of water. Niall bops over to Louis, peers over his shoulder to see what he's written. He points to a spot about a third of the way down. "Ooh, like that bit."

"Really? Thought it was just okay, m'self," Louis preens. Liam can feel his headache thudding behind his eyes, can feel his stomach gurgling fretfully around the light breakfast he'd barely chewed this morning. He tries to stay focused, to actually listen to everything being said. It's harder than he thought it'd be.

Harry finally gets up from his seat in the corner--after downing his entire water bottle, of course, he has to stay hydrated--and drapes himself over Liam from behind, chin on Liam's head and his arms flopping over Liam's. Liam feels more than hears what Harry mumbles, a comforting rumble resounding onto his back and through his body. "And what are you up to, lima bean?"

"Well, currently, I'm getting squashed," he says with a smile in his voice. He reaches behind him to get at Harry's ticklish sides, but the gargantuan mop has moved on to flop poor Niall. Niall doesn't seem to mind, though; he just grins, rolls his eyes, and shakes his head.

Liam's headache gives a particularly bad throb, and he hisses, the heel of his hand shooting to his temple. It doesn't help, really, but it's an impulse.

"You alright, Payno?" Niall asks as he shrugs Harry off. Liam wishes he could just say yes, he's fine. But he can't bald-face lie to them. He's never really been able to.

So he puts on an extremely forced smile, changes the topic, and says, over bright, "Sorry, mates, quick wee," as he ducks out of the room. He just stands leaning against the wall for a minute, breaking his well-worn and cracked dam of "I'm okay" and all the exhaustion and frustration from the past few daysweeks _months_ crash onto him at once. It feels like he gains ten pounds, and he slides to the floor, one leg straight, the other bent at an angle perfect for leaning on. So he does, and lets his thoughts whiz around his head for a minute, just white noise, before he starts picking them out, one after the other.

_You're not good enough._

_You've never been good enough._

_They're settling for you, because they were saddled with you at X Factor. Bet they wanted literally anyone else in their group._

_You're the reason Zayn left. He just couldn't stand you any longer._

Some small part of his brain knew none of these were really true, but he feels so vulnerable, so small, so insignificant. He can hear the other three through the wall… they're laughing. They don't know he's out here with his heart smashed on the floor. They're just fine without him.

Liam tugs his other leg up, wraps his arms around both, and rests his forehead on his knees. He barely feels the tears run off his cheeks and _plop_ quietly on his lap. He's completely washed away by his flood of emotions, which until just now had been bottled up tight and sealed at the back of his mind.

The door opens, and Liam instinctively curls tighter into himself, hopes whoever it is won't see him. Of course, he's always had awful luck, and a shout of, "Be back in a mo!" precedes the door shutting and someone sitting down right next to him, shoulders and sides and thighs touching.

Liam peeps out from his fortress, and sees Louis looking at the other wall, clearly waiting for something.

"What?"

Louis starts a little; whether because he didn't expect Liam to speak first, or because the hurt, defensive crack in Liam's voice is painfully obvious, Liam doesn't know. He doesn't really care, either--he wants to be alone.

Louis scrubs his hand under his nose. "You disappeared. Figured I'd come look for you, see if you needed help." He cuts his eyes over to Liam without turning his head. "Do you?"

Liam's breath hitches. He _does_ need help. Or at least, he needs Louis. Louis, who always seems to pick him up, or at least help him forget his troubles for a little while. Louis, who cracks jokes and pokes and prods at Liam to get him to smile. Louis, who shines in Liam's life like a star he can't live without.

Before he can properly think it through and back out, Liam leans over and latches himself to Louis' side, buries his face in the crook of Louis' neck, cinches his arms firmly around Louis' waist. It takes a moment, but Louis gently rubs his shoulder with one hand, and keeps the other in his lap.

Louis being gentle with Liam is so strange. He's expecting Louis to start tickling him or digging his fingernails into his shoulder any second. It's so odd, but this comfort from Louis in particular is making his heart swell.

Then Louis' fingers dig a little harder into Liam's shoulder. Liam tenses, but doesn't pull away.

"I'm sorry."

It's so quiet, Liam barely hears it. It's little more than a stifled whimper, really, but it's enough. He looks up, sees Louis starting to cry. Louis, the snotty, short-fused troublemaker, is sniffling and wiping with his free hand at shining tracks on his cheeks. It's an odd image, to be sure, and it takes Liam a moment to process what he's seeing and respond. "Louis… what're you on about? What're you apologizing for?"

Louis gives a hearty, snotty snort, then sighs. "'M a feckin' idiot. Can't make you feel better about anythin'. I just make everything worse, don't I." It's not a question.

It's not a question, but Liam answers it anyway. "No."

"Huh?"

"You do not make everything worse, you donut." Liam hugs Louis a tad tighter, knocks some wind out of him. Louis pats Liam's head, sniffles again. "You're an idiot. You've helped more than anyone else."

Louis' breathing stills under Liam's head. He knows if he looks up, Louis' eyes will be watery and wide. So he burrows further into Louis' sweatshirt.

"I don't know what to do," Liam says, so quiet it rasps as it leaves his throat.

Louis reaches for his hand, slides their fingers together. "I don't either. But we'll figure it out. Together."

Liam brings their hands up to kiss Louis' knuckles.

A few minutes pass in comfortable silence. Then Louis gently squeezes Liam's shoulder. "Hey, Payno. You ready to go back in?"

Liam hugs Louis so close, it feels like they could melt into each other. Liam's whole world is the red light through his closed eyelids and the heartbeat under his ear. He desperately wants to stay here a while longer, let him build his "I'm okay" dam again. But he knows he can't stay here forever, and Louis will be in the room with him.

He slowly pulls away from Louis, leaves the comfort of his gravity. Seven joints pop back into place, and he groans as he stretches, arms over his head and back arching. He looks back at Louis just in time to catch the tail end of the most fond smile he's ever seen. He flushes a little, hot under the collar. He holds a hand out to Louis, helps him up.

They walk back into the room together, and Louis butchers some improv ragtime on the piano just to make Liam smile.

They may not know what to do, but they will figure it out. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a friend of mine!! I hope you like it, junebug.
> 
> (Cheat sheet: Zayn was a quasar, Louis was a red dwarf, Liam was a super-Earth, Harry was a nebula, and Niall was an open cluster of stars.)


End file.
